


We're The Kids Your Momma Warned You About

by PumpkinWrites



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Anal Sex, Apartment AU, Ball Gags, Boot Worship, Butt Plugs, Cock Rings, Come Eating, F/M, Femdom, Hair-pulling, Light BDSM, Light Bondage, Missionary Position, Oral Sex, Pegging, Riding, Scratching, Strap-Ons, Teasing, Vaginal Sex, vampire gloves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-21 19:34:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14921547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PumpkinWrites/pseuds/PumpkinWrites
Summary: Whoever said not to stick your dick in crazy had clearly just never found the right kind of crazy. And at this point: Felix would consider himself an expert on crazy in any kind of proximity to his dick. Plus, no one ever said anything about crazy sticking things in you.





	We're The Kids Your Momma Warned You About

**Author's Note:**

> I'm part of an RvB apartment au server on Discord. A recent development is that Locus' ex, Felix, lives in the same building as the rest of the characters. Add a little bit of bad judgement to Felix catching Emily on the way up to her apartment, some threats, a well-placed derogatory name spoken in Spanish from a very dominant presence, Felix being thirsty, and a little bit of emotional baggage from both parties, and the results could be unpredictable.
> 
> As a note: gusanito means "little worm" in Spanish. The version of Emily that appears in this AU is fluent, and the version of Felix that appears speaks some. As for where it goes from there, I have nothing to say for myself.

If Felix was being honest, (shocking, truly shocking, he knew) he was having a hard time remembering just how he'd gotten here. How, exactly, he'd ended up on his knees like this, with a silicone ring growing tighter around his cock, a plug in his ass, and drool running down his chin, dripping out from around the ball gag in his mouth. Well, he knew how he'd ended up here today, but he meant in the grand scheme of things. As far as he could tell, the woman standing over him was considered a bit of a weirdo among the residents of their building. Nice enough, but weird. She was friendly with his ex, and had... possibly threatened him... when he'd caught her going up to her apartment. That smile she'd given him had been downright predatory, those wide eyes seeming to stare directly into his soul.

Just like they were doing now.

She'd told him -- and really, it had mostly sounded conversational, though it had unquestionably been a demand -- to leave his door unlocked. That hadn't really sounded like anything concrete either way. But soon enough, eventually the door had opened, and there she'd been, looking like a strange approximation of a fetish magazine ad: shiny white dress and high-heeled boots rather than black, wet-look purple stockings held in place, he could just barely see, by the straps of a black garter belt. Everything she'd pulled out of the purple leather bag that had been in her hand was still in the packaging, as far as he could see. The restraints, the gag, the plug, the ring. Even the bottle of lube she'd withdrawn had been sealed. He had been distracted by wondering what else she was hiding in there when she'd trilled something about a safeword, something like that sounded like "alice," though that didn't make a whole lot of sense. She'd checked in with him to make sure he was down for whatever she was doing, he was sure, but he couldn't remember her doing it now. They'd exchanged medical histories very briefly, he knew, enough to know that both of them were clean and she was on a birth control pill, and then she'd gotten to work.

Grey tugged sharply on his hair, forcing his head back so that he had to look her directly in the face. However, he found he didn't need to strain his neck quite so much as she sank down into one knee in front of him. That predatory, hungry grin was firmly in place as the fingers of her free hand settled loosely around the achingly-hard cock between his legs. She gave him a relatively mean squeeze. Definitely mean considering she'd already put him through a considerable amount for such a short time. He squirmed, hips twitching to follow her hand when she pulled it away and cuing a giggle from her as she stood up. "No, not yet. In fact... I think I know _just_ what we're going to do with you!"

Felix whined loudly around the gag, wrists straining against the cuffs securing them to his thighs, but Grey merely gave another giggle and stepped away from him. Felix shut his eyes for a brief moment when he heard her walk to the corner of the room behind him where she'd set her bag down. There was a squeaking of rubber and latex, the pull of a zipper, the sound of plastic packaging opening again. He finally opened his eyes again when he heard her come back, and heard the rubber squeaking again as she knelt down behind him.

Her hands appeared in view from behind him and settled on his left one, unbuckling it from the restraint and reaching to pull something over his hand -- what looked like a black glove. She buckled it around his wrist before reaching around the other side to do the same to his right hand. The restraints were removed from around his thighs, a single firm swat to his ass prompting him to sit up enough for her to pull them off completely.

"I wouldn't touch anything with those hands!" she chimed. "It might be _very_ unpleasant for you!"

Felix made an inquisitive noise, immediately reaching for his cock and whining when something sharp caught him. Grey chuckled, running her fingers through his hair and dragging nails along his scalp. "I _told_ you no touching! Those are vampire gloves: they have little spikes in the fingers and palm for sensory play. Also _very_ effective at keeping wandering little hands away from places they shouldn't be!"

He whined, though it was cut off when she leaned against his back to reach around and rake her nails up his stomach. Something pressed into the small of his back, and for the life of him, he couldn't figure out what it was.

One of her hands vanished from his stomach, tracing its way over her hip and down his back. He shuddered as it finally reached the plug, and he yelped around the gag as sharp teeth dug into his shoulder and the doctor gave the plug a sharp twist. She chuckled, dragging the plug about halfway out of him before pushing it back in. She continued like that, scratching nails over his stomach and fucking him slowly with the plug, until he was squirming and clenching his fists and really, _really_ considering saying "fuck it" and going for his own dick again, spiky gloves be damned.

And then she let go. The whine that escaped him actually hurt his throat, and he could feel honest-to-god tears pricking at his eyes.

"Now, I bet you'd like that gag out, wouldn't you?" she purred in his ear, giggling when he nodded frantically. "Well, don't get too excited, _gusanito_. I haven't decided how nice I'm going to be this evening!"

She did unbuckle his gag, however, and pulled away from his back as she stood up. He heard her heels on the hardwood as she crossed around in front of him, but before he could look up at her on his own, her fingers tangled in his hair and yanked his head up. Just far enough to see something disturbing the front of the loose skirt of her dress.

"... what's that?"

"That's for _me_ to know and _you_ to find out!" she trilled, letting go of his hair.

When she sat down on the edge of the bed, the folds of the skirt hid the disturbance relatively well, though as soon as his hands raised to go for her skirt, the toe of her boot was pressing against his shoulder, pushing him back a little. "Ah ah! Work your way up to that!"

She punctuated her statement with a purposeful stomp of her other foot, and Felix looked down at it, swallowing hard when he realized precisely what she wanted.

He turned his head, pressing his lips to the toe of her boot. His hands wrapped around her ankle and calf to move her leg and foot as needed, and he trailed kisses over the pleather. When he reached her heel, he dragged his tongue along it, the little giggle that escaped Grey going straight to his dick and overflowing back into his gut. The kisses became progressively hungrier as he made his way to the zipper, running his tongue up and along it as he dared to move upward along her leg, resting it over his shoulder as he crawled closer to her.

When he reached the top of her boot, he looked up at her to discover that she was watching him with dark, half-lidded eyes. She hiked up her skirt ever-so-slightly, exposing the tops of her purple stockings more clearly, though kept whatever she was hiding covered. Felix licked his lips, crawling forward to continue kissing and mouthing his way hungrily up her leg, barely noticing or caring when the spikes in his gloves caught and pulled at her stocking as he squeezed and gripped.

After a short while of this, the foot resting against his back finally shifted, digging its heel into him and causing him to look up again. Grey was grinning her hungry grin, and before he could really register that she'd moved, her leg was off of its shoulder and she was leaning forward to grab at his chin. She twisted her wrist to either side, as if checking him over for something, then let go, holding both hands out in front of her.

"Hands," she ordered, wiggling her fingers in a strange, broken approximation of the "come hither" gesture. Felix raised his hands obediently, and his insides fluttered when he saw that she was unbuckling the hell gloves from around his wrists. Before she pulled them off, however, she gripped those wrists tightly in warning. "You're going to touch only where I say you can, or the gloves go back on. Do you understand?"

He nodded, his throat suddenly feeling very dry even though he could tell that he was still drooling, and she raised an eyebrow, cocking her head. "I said 'do you understand?'"

Oh fuck, she wanted him to talk. Yeah, okay. "Sure thing, sweetheart."

"What was that?"

Fuck, what had she told him to say? Right. "Yes, Ma'am."

The quiet chuckle he received told him he'd done right, and she pulled the gloves off of him, dropping them beside the gag on the bed. She took the hem of her skirt in hand again, finally pulling it back to reveal what she'd been hiding: a delicious-looking, otherwise-realistically-molded purple dildo. He didn't see any kind of harness, though, and looking again, he realized it was because there wasn't one.

 _Fuck_.

Felix made a choked-off noise, staring at it. It wasn't impressively large or anything, but it was a little on the girthy side. God, he wanted to touch it.

"C-Can I..."

Grey laughed yet again. "Hmm. Well, now that I've given you back your hands and your mouth, I suppose you should use them!"

Felix crawled forward, settling on his knees between her legs and groaning as the movement shifted the plug inside of him. He took the head of the dildo into his mouth without any hesitation, hands resting on her thighs for a moment, and then started to gradually swallow down the length of it. His hands roamed over skin and stocking and garter, squeezing at soft skin. He brought one up to grip the base of the dildo, tugging it back and forth as his head bobbed. God, he hadn't realized how much he'd missed sucking dick.

Grey draped one leg back over his shoulder, her heel digging into his back, but he ignored it, swallowing the dildo down to the base. He felt her tangle her fingers in his hair and tug, and he turned his eyes up to look at her. She grinned. He whined around his mouthful of dildo, and she giggled, pushing his head down until his nose met her skin.

"Ooh, you don't have much of a gag reflex, do you? Mm, maybe I should've gotten one with a harness. You look like you like to have that pretty throat used." She let him go, and he pulled off for air. She caught his chin yet again, however, and chuckled down at him. "But, I think I have a better idea!"

Grey stood, stepping around him, and tapping the edge of the bed, reaching into the top of her right stocking as if looking for something. "Up!"

Felix complied, kneeling on the bed with his back to her, and allowing his torso to move as she pushed him forward to rest on his elbows. The plug was grabbed and twisted again, then dragged out entirely. He heard it hit the bed beside him, but didn't have time to look before the familiar, fucking awesome sensation of something undeniably phallic sliding into him took over most of his mind.  
Felix moaned loudly, gripping at the sheets, and above him, Grey chuckled, settling her hands on his hips. "Well, _that's_ a pretty noise! But I wouldn't have too much fun with this if I were you!"

The doctor, it seemed, would remain true to her word. Yes, the movement of her hips pushed the dildo in deep, and she was entirely capable of setting a brutal, punishing pace. But every thrust missed that sweet spot entirely, to the point where there was no way she wasn't missing on purpose. After fifteen or so minutes of that torture, Felix finally started to break. He whined, clutching at the sheets, moaning and begging, only to be answered by a near-sadistic little laugh as the thrusting slowed and stopped. He damn near cried when he felt the dildo slide out, but was distracted by a firm squeeze to his hip.

"Poor little thing." Her voice had gone huskier, more dangerous. It made him a little afraid of what she was planning to do with him. He heard her moving around behind him, and heard a thud as, presumably, the dildo landed on the bed. He turned his head to find it, almost managing to be amused when he realized she'd rolled an orange condom down over it. He felt the bed shift as she clambered off, and whined a little bit louder.

"Oh, I knew you would be easy to break!" Grey giggled again, tapping his side and running her fingers over his ribs as she stood up. "On your back!"

Felix scrambled to obey, turning over and looking up at her. He watched her reach back, and licked his lips as she unzipped her dress and let it fall to the floor, exposing three distinct tattoos as her back came into view: angel wings outlined in black and purple on her shoulders, ribbons along the length of her spine meant to give the appearance of corset lacing, and a tramp stamp that looked like the heartbeat that printed up on hospital monitors. Her garter belt came next, though the stockings and boots remained. She climbed on top of him, straddling his hips and letting him get an eyeful of the sight of his poor, straining cock against her stomach.

She ran a hand down the length of it, settling on the ring. "Let's get this off of you before it causes too much damage!"

He nodded frantically, ignoring the horrific implication that there was already damage.

Grey's laugh sounded again, slowly removing the ring from his cock. He almost howled at the sensation, and he really did howl when the doctor lifted her hips and sank down onto his cock, taking the length of him in one movement. She barely allowed herself a moment before she began to bounce in place, striking a fast, almost hyperactive pace, riding him hard.

The doctor had been silent, or mostly so, this entire time. He'd assumed she was just quiet. He was discovering now that that was absolutely not right. The sounds that escaped her were heavenly, high-pitched and breathy, as she reached up to squeeze her own breasts, ran her own hands over her body. Over the inked syringe between her legs, with its bright blue contents, and over the anatomical heart on the left side of her chest. When he became confident enough to thrust up against her, her moans turned sharper, more like they were being gasped out.

She shuddered, leaning forward and digging her nails into his chest, and he jerked up. His fingers closed tightly in the sheets, and he growled. Grey giggled, slowing her movements and abruptly climbing off of him. She turned over onto her back, spreading her legs, and gave him a "come here" wave.

Felix did not need to be told twice.

He was on her in seconds, fucking into her hard, fast, and deep, as if his life depended on it. He still didn't grab at her yet, fearing retribution if he went against what she'd already said, but he did drape her legs over his shoulders for a better angle as he worked. The return of the symphony of gasps, moans, and pants told him that that had been a smart move, and the dark-haired woman reached up to grab for his shoulders, digging her nails in and holding on tightly to him.

"F-Fuck, Doc... shit I'm getting close..."

Grey didn't say anything in response, merely nodded as she clung to him. Felix grabbed hold of her hips for better leverage, movement stuttering as Grey's back arched like a bow and her muscles went tense. She dragged her nails downward along his chest, gouging angry scratches into his skin, her head tipping back as her mouth fell open. Felix grunted, thrusting deep as he spilled inside of the shaking woman beneath him.

When he finally pulled out of her and sat back on his heels, she pushed herself up against the pillows, still panting, and threw him a broad smile, gesturing downward. "Good boy!" she praised breathlessly. "Now, clean up your mess."

Felix licked his lips, obeying without hesitation. He tugged her hips down as he settled on his stomach between her legs, and set to work. He dragged his tongue over her folds, lapping up wetness and his own semen, swallowing everything down as he scooped his come out of her with curls of his tongue. He took periodic breaks from that to lavish attention on the small bundle of nerves just above, grinning as she shivered from oversensitivity under his tongue.

It didn't take him very long to clean her up, and when he finally sat up, wiping his mouth, she followed suit, still breathing a little harder than before, and still shaking whenever a movement brushed her against the sheets just so.

"I'm impressed, _gusanito_ ," she complimented, reaching up to rake her nails through his hair and along his scalp. "I may just have to keep you!"

"Y'know, sweetheart, I wouldn't say you broke me."

"Oh, I _know_! I have my own emotional hang-ups at the moment, so I did hold back a little bit! Can't get too aggressive the first time!" she trilled. "I didn't have time to disinfect the set of _scalpels_ I keep on-hand for this! Now, let me get you something for these scratches."


End file.
